One week ago from one hour from now I was at the hospital. I won't tell you why I was at the hospital because it's none of your business. All you need to know is that I was there in a room primarily reserved for emergencies. The place was strange. I told the check-in lady (Amanda) my reason for being there, which I won't tell you. This made Amanda sad. Amanda then looked at the other check-in lady and said, "I can't take this tonight," and Amanda ran into the other room. Poor Amanda. Oh wait. I was the one in the emergency room. Come back Amanda and check me in! The new check-in lady started to help me when a group of nine people walked into the emergency room. They started to act as though something was seriously wrong with one of them. Oh no! A large woman, probably eight months pregnant, said, "Michael has been shot...get out of the way!" Michael wasn't the real name of the person, but I got out of the way all the same. Michael then lifted his cherry red t-shirt to reveal his white undershirt. It was stained blood red. He then lifted his white undershirt. I stood three feet away from Michael. I could see a bullet lodged in Michael's side. It was caught on one of his ribs. He seemed to be able to walk okay for a guy who lost a lot of blood. I thought it was ridiculous my health care was being delayed to help someone who got shot doing something no doubt illegal. I went and sat by the window. I worried whoever shot Michael would come shoot into the hospital windows in order to finish the job. I got more nervous when two of Michael's friends walked by me and said, "We have to finish this...let's go get Pops." This story could have been more interesting, but the nurse finally said, "Author...Author...please come in to the triage area."
I'm not sure what happened to Michael, his friends, or the people who shot him. I do know when I left the hospital lots of cops were there. I hope I never get shot.
4 comments:
Is the reason you won't tell us why you had to go to to the emergency room because you pulled a, "What's Up Al?"
Oh presumptive and judgmental Author, why must you assume that Michael has done anything wrong? You are extrapolating so broadly beyond the actual information presented in this case. the only thing that we can know for sure here is that someone else did something else illegal here.
Unless of course michael was endangering the second party's life, in which case michael was indeed the wrongdoer and the other may be acquited, as it was an act of self defense. Doesn't sound like Mikey had gotten to that point quite yet; we'll leave that to Pops I guess.
But to assume your new friend-with-a-bullet is guilty of some crime is quite a rush to judgment. How unlike you.
To Viceroy: You guessed it. I mysteriously ended up in the hospital with a broomstick shoved up my rectum. On the plus side, I no longer have a colon!
The Geneball: Did someone recently by you a Thesaurus? While I agree I never rush to judgment, I think your argument is flawed because you automatically assume one of the two people are up to something illegal. What if Michael got shot by a duck or a tree?
Are you threatened by my immaculate vernacular?
And I apologize, I had not considered a duck or a tree, let alone liberty or valor. We're entering rather existential category here, it's really causing me to reevaluate my perspective on life. Best quit while we're ahead and just start quoting Old School. That'll be funny.
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