Due to the fact no one in the entire world seems able to balance rising world incomes and the demands they create on food and gasoline, food prices are really high. You know this. A value meal at McDonalds now costs over $5.00. There is no value in that. Regardless, since beef prices are high because good beef comes from good cows that eat good corn and corn is expensive because it’s either being used for ethanol and/or being harvested by equipment that costs more than it should because steel prices are too high since steel manufacturers can get more bang for their product selling overseas to Chinese people that cheat in the damn Olympics than they can here in the good ol’ US of A, and since Taco Bell doesn’t use a lot of beef but rather year-old cheese, paste disguised as refried beans, and something eerily reminiscent of chicken, Taco Bell has decided to run an ad campaign asking its customers, “Why Pay More?” Only they don’t ask it. They excitedly pronounce it. On their windows are posters that say, “Why Pay More!” No. This is wrong. I may be no grammar expert, but I know full well that you are asking me a question when you come up and say, “Why Pay More” to me. I don’t care how excited you are when you say it. If you want to express excitement in your question statement use both forms of punctuation—like this: “Why Pay More?!” What’s worse, I know somewhere in this world a meeting was held with upper level corporate officers who had the following conversation:
The Vice President of Propaganda and Ideas shows the boardroom a mockup of block yellow letters on a purple canvas that says, “Why Pay More?”
“I don’t know. I know it’s technically a question, but questions aren’t very exciting. What else can we do?” CEO of Taco Bell asks.
“Maybe we could add an exclamation point to the question?” Executive Vice President of Corporate Affairs and Legal Issues suggests.
“That may alter the focal point of the image, distracting the audience from taking in the principal message,” Executive Vice President of Art and Advertising says.
“Let’s just have an exclamation point then,” CEO says.
“But that’s wrong in so many ways,” The Only One with a Brain says.
The conversation then lasted for over three hours where it was decided the CEO’s idea would be used, because that’s what happens in this country. Now everyone in America is just a little bit stupider. Thanks Taco Bell.
2 comments:
stupider perhaps, but also more reasonably fulfilled. plus how can you argue with the caramel apple empanada!
And alas, I have found your blog. Something I had asked Kelsey for and never received it.... could it be she was embarrassed?? :)
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