There has been a decided lack of blogging lately. That's partially because I generally blog to amuse myself, which I no longer need to do because Jeff and Hampton write thoroughly more entertaining blogs than I do, and that's partially because I've had nothing to blog about.
Also, it's because I haven't been pissed off lately. When I first started this blog it was to highlight my mundane adventures. Then I learned there are only so many ways to tell the story, "Woke up. Wasted day. Gained three pounds. Slept." So I started to rant. Then I felt guilty about ranting. Every time I wrote something where I vented I thought, "Gee, who is this guy on his soapbox?" I started to worry what other people would think. I stopped just letting words flow from my magic fingers and started to worry about, "Well if I'm honest about issue x, I may offend person d." X being McCain and D being Douchebags. Then I went out of my way to stop swearing. Not that I condone the excessive use of profanity, but I'm all for the occasional accentuating "Fuck." Then I went through a period where I only wanted to talk about politics. I call this the "Clintons ruined America" period of my life. Again, I started to worry that my three readers wouldn't want to constantly read about politics, so I backed away. I stopped writing about various movies and tv shows because I thought it felt cheap. I never even brought up my love for baseball and/or my former love (and current secret love) of professional wrestling. Basically, I forced writer's block upon myself because I worried about what people wanted to read and what I thought that people thought I should write. Instead of just ranting about whatever the hell I felt like, I stopped. I've had plenty of ideas. I had an entire blog planned educating America about the whereabouts of Delaware and Alaska. I never wrote it. I had a blog planned and half written about why ESPN should be taken off the air for the way they handled the Yankees falling out of the playoff race in August (namely by continuing day after day to say, "The Yankees playoff hopes may be over." They never had playoff hopes this year. Not once.)
I've been a fraud. Mostly though, I've been sad. Everything about our country depresses me right now. The sadness consumed me, creating a general pessimistic malaise that instead of resulting in semi-entertaining blogs resulted in me staring at the same damn ESPN.com article I read fifteen minutes ago. I'm done feeling sad. I'm pissed off again. Three things triggered this. I'm not going to list them. I'll touch on a lot of what pissed me off in the last little while and you can make your own personal top three. I won't touch them all in this blog however. After all, everyone loves listing, right 2002 VH1 network? While our elected officials argue whether or not it's a good idea to prove, "accountability...who needs it?" I've realized everything in this country has been ruined. Is there hope anymore? Maybe. The bailout could fail, our flawed economic system could crumble, we could start living off the money we actually earn instead of the credit we hope we can pay off some day, we could start to look up to people with brains and knowledge instead of pregnant teenage sisters of whorish pop stars, we could hope that people start to enjoy conversing with the humans sitting across with them versus texting the humans three hours away, we can hope people come to their senses and realize, "maybe I don't need a $20 million per year salary," so people can take their family to baseball games and movies without having to forgo food for a week, maybe we'll listen to scientists and develop some sort of something that transports us without the excessive reliance on overpriced gas, maybe the government will say, "Yeah...smoking really doesn't make sense...sorry Carolinas!" None of this will happen though. The bailout is similar to a rich kid at college who did nothing honest to earn his money crashing his shiny new red car he couldn't afford but bought anyway into a truck full of defenseless middle-aged people who were looking the other way because they didn't know any better and then calling his alcoholic dad for money to pay for both the car and to pay for (so he says) help for the middle-aged people he crashed into--the father agrees--when the money arrives the kid instead replaces the car and buys himself a shiny new radio that he turns up just loud enough the middle-aged people think they are getting to hear some new music and once again turn the other way.
I look around this country and everything depresses me. Right now we have two great men running for President with two sub par running mates. Palin is a moron. People who support Palin are even bigger morons. McCain is the presidential equivalent of OAR. OAR at one point was a college jam band that jammed just a little bit different than the rest of the college schlock rock designed for cool guys with dreamy eyes to play for trashy dames to open their gams. OAR even appealed to people like myself who generally thought the John Mayers (pre him becoming hilarious) sounded like robotic frogs who picked up a guitar in hopes to salivate a vagina rather than to rock. But being a slightly different version of the same old sound wasn't getting OAR anywhere. They traded in their jamming acoustic sound for the same mundane pop rock littering the radio and ruining this fair country. That's McCain. Then you have Obama who has exposed just how racist this country is. Get it? His name sounds like Osama! Haha. I'll keep saying Barack Osama. If my last name were Dag, you'd call me Author Fag. If my last name were Rigger, you'd call me something just as bad. This is what you do. You are racist. You are Go America. You don't even fucking care anymore. (see...accentuation) I'm not a giant Barack Obama fan, but I'm disgusted that people can get up in the morning, eat a delicious bowl of Corn Flakes, and somehow convince themselves that a man who came from nothing and became something has "no substance." How jaded is this country? He's an elitist? Because he actually earned enough money to buy his silver spoon? Don't worry White Go America, if you elect a black man we won't replace the national anthem with TuPac's "Keep ya Head Up," nor will we start eating fried chicken for Thanksgiving. It will be okay. I promise. Also, McCain's wife looks plastic. I'm worried she'll melt in the sun. This happens sometimes.
So there you have it. A blog with no structure that did not end with any sort of point. It exists simply to say, "I'm mad. I'm frustrated. I'm a twenty-six year old man who isn't respected at work because he's a twenty-six year old man. I understand technology. I will not be brainwashed. Not again anyway." I'm going to stop writing what I think I should say or worry what other people might think. I'm going to put down whatever the hell I want. If you like it, great. If not, double great. I write for me, not you. That's how it should be.
Love you.
3 comments:
Great fucking blog. I think you are putting on electronic paper what everyone is thinking right now. Well, everyone that thinks anyway.
I had the same idea about the bailout today at work, albeit less colorful. This bailout will go through, we'll sort of prosper for about 6 months, and then we'll hit a giant depression like in 1929. No lesson learned. It's damned if we do and damned if we don't. Our country's excess is catching up with us and we're going to pay.
It surprises me you held back on some blogs because you cared about what other people might think. Somewhere you lost your way. I'm glad you found it again. Raise peoples' dander. It's good for them. Question everything.
Good stuff. The "blogging" I did in high school was definitely more fun than what I'm doing now, because at the time I really didn't care who read it. (Blogging in quotes because, at the time, it wasn't called that yet...) Now my primary purpose is mostly so in 5 years I'll have some idea of what I was doing at this time in my life. (Secondary purpose is probably to play around with some moderately interesting technologies, since I run the site myself instead of letting a third-party do it for me. Thirdly (and this is way back) is because I might have something interesting to say. Let's be honest, I'm not that interesting.)
I find it interesting that you don't mind swearing in your blog but will only allude to that magical word that rhymes with rigor. Derogatory words about homosexuals are ok, but racist terms are not? Write what you want, sure, but did you hold that back because it's too offensive to even mostly-anonymously publish on some lame blog? (Note that I'm not criticizing, exactly... just trying to provoke thought.) Personally I try to avoid both, but, when used in a deliberately offensive way, find them to be equally demeaning. What do I know, though: I'm just a dumb white guy from the country.
That said, I have been pretty depressed about the state of this country since about the time I came back from the wider world. Amazing the perspective living for a year outside will give a person. 'Course, god forbid I actually talk about it, lest I be accused of hating the flag and loving terr'rists. :-(
To Viceroy: I don't know why I held back. I just did.
To Wingnut: It's funny you picked up on me using the most vile term for gays/lesbians, but I skipped the one for black. I originally had both but when re-reading during editing (which I do sometimes), it felt too abrasive. I decided to switch the racist term simply because it came second when I wrote the blog. I do disagree with you though...I think the term f** has become much worse than n***** if only because people still call people f** and don't feel the guilt they should. And never use my comments section to further your terrorist agenda again.
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