5.31.2008

The Writers of Lost Should Run the Democratic Party

I currently want to write about two things: the awesomeness that is Lost and absurdity that is the Democratic Party. Unfortunately, even though both topics have absolutely nothing to do with one another, I don't have the time or the ambition to write two blogs. So what the hell? I'll write about both in one blog.

This presented a new problem in itself. I couldn't decide how to start this new combo blog. Do I use the sentence:

"Just when I think Lost couldn't possibly get any better, the season finale airs on Thursday night and proves me wrong. Every plot twist from top to bottom was perfect and ultimately satisfied all viewers. Wow, what an episode."

Or...

"Just when I think the Democrats couldn't possibly get any stupider, the Democratic National Committee meets on Saturday afternoon and proves me wrong. The decision to seat any of the delegates from Florida and Michigan at the convention makes no sense because there weren't legitimate elections in those states and will ultimately satisfy no one. Wow, what a bunch of morons."

For those of you who don't watch Lost, I'm sorry, you're idiots. But Writer you say, "not every show is for every person. That's why there is a variety of television programming on and several channels. I think you're being a bit bold. I mean, I'm a complete noob who has the attention span and intelligence of a gnat. I wouldn't enjoy the show because there aren't any jokes about getting 'er done and/or how I became a redneck. " I say, "Interesting point. I guess there are several other options available; I suppose I need to do a better job respecting other peoples' opinions." Then you say, "Wow, you really came around on that view quickly. I appreciate you listening to my views and respecting the fact I'm a deplorable piece of trash without a soul." I say, "Hey, not a problem."

Seriously, there aren't enough positive adjectives to describe the tightly wound story that is Lost. While not every episode in Lost's history is a home-run, there has been only one truly bad episode. This season (the fourth) has been amazing from top to bottom. Every week leaves me thinking, "Wow. This is the greatest episode ever." Then next week I say the same thing. It's great.

I'm obviously gushing. I'll get into specifics...The reason the show is great is because it knows where it is going. Like a great novel, every episode in its eventual six seasons is building to what will no doubt be a satisfying conclusion. There are times when there is a short thirty second scene in an episode that becomes much more important in a later episode. Like great fiction, you have to pay attention. This can be difficult for people (as evidenced by Lost's ratings dropping back down to Earth after its stellar first season). The show is filled with tragedy, drama, death, intrigue, and of course, scantily clad pretty people (this is America after all). The most recent season concluded Thursday and realistically only advanced the plot fifteen minutes in "show time" from last season, yet it ended up being fourteen of the most satisfying hours of television I've ever seen.

Again, it has everything to do with the fact the writers and producers have a goal and a solid plan on how to get there. They've also done a great job, in a world of one hour detective dramas, offering a solid, quality alternative.

Let's review. It's good because:

1) There's an end goal.
2) There's a plan to get to that goal.
3) It's a solid, quality alternative to the crap that's out there.

Let's transition! Star swipe!

For those of you who vote Democratic, I'm sorry, you're idiots. But Writer you say, "not every candidate is for every person. That's what makes this country so great. There is a variety of candidates to vote for. Just because I choose to align myself with a political party that continues to make abysmally poor decisions contrary to any sort of rational thought, doesn't mean I shouldn't have the right to vote for them. " I say, "Interesting point. I guess there's a reason so many options are available; I suppose I need to do a better job respecting other people's opinions." Then you say, "Wow, you really came around on that view quickly. I appreciate that in this country, even those of us who watch NASCAR and drink hillbilly moonshine all day instead of contributing to the world still get an equal vote in those there elections." I say, "Hey, that's a problem."

Seriously, there aren't enough negative adjectives to describe the unraveling debacle that is the Democratic primary/caucus campaign. While not every Democratic leader in history has struck out, the party as a whole has suffered. This election has been amazingly bad from top to bottom. Every week leaves me thinking, "Wow. This party has once again proven they have no idea what they need to do to win." Then next week I say the same thing. It's stupid.

I'm obviously bashing. I'll get into specifics...The reason the party is awful is because it has know idea how to get where it is going. Like a great Shakespearean play, every maneuver and speech in the last six months is building to what will no doubt be a horrendous conclusion. There are times when Hillary will bring up RFK's assassination in an attempt to prove she should stay in the race. Like great fiction, she presents pure fantasy. This can be difficult for people to understand (as evidenced by anyone who is still voting for Hillary and anyone who had anything to do with the Democratic National Committee's bonehead decision to seat any delegates from Michigan and Florida today even if they only half count). The race has been filled with tragedy, drama, death references, intrigue, and of course, ugly smear campaigns (this is America after all). The most recent ridiculous decision that came on Saturday realistically set the party back another fifteen years, yet it's sort of satisfying in a roll-your-eyes sort of way to live through.

Again, it has everything to do with the fact the party leaders sort of have the same goal, but they have no idea how to get there. They've also done a poor job, in a world with an incompetent Republican President, offering any sort of solid, quality alternative.

Let's review. They're bad because:

1) They can't agree upon an end goal.
2) They have no idea how to get to any of their proposed end goals.
3) They can't offer a solid, quality alternative to the crap that's out there.

That's all. Star swipe!

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