The Big Game

Reason 401 football is worse than baseball: the NFL does not allow people without authorized permission to refer to the Big Game that is being played right now on the TV (you know, the one with all the over hyped commercials) as the *uper *owl.

Reason 402 football is worse than baseball: a dying Tom Petty has to perform the half-time show because we conservative football fans no longer trust the young hip hop artists to perform without flashing some boob.

Reason 1 football's Big Game is as annoying to watch as baseball's World Series: Joe Buck announces and Fox ruins with crazy robot graphics and sound effects.

Because I know you are all interested in how I spend every minute of a normal day, I thought you'd be especially interested in how I spent the 60 game minutes of the Super Bo...Championship Football Game.

First eight minutes-For some reason I thought kickoff was 6:30 not 5:00. Because of this I watched the last eight minutes of the Rock's opus "the Gameplan" instead of watching the first eight minutes of the Football Spectacular.

Minute nine through minute eighteen-I watched intermittent moments of exciting football action while washing my whites and my pants. Seriously, if I didn't do laundry tonight, I would not have any clothes to wear tomorrow. Why do I always catch up on laundry only to let it pile up again? Why are there people in other countries dying without jobs when I'd let them live in my Ladyfriend's basement, give them blankets, maybe even feed them, if they'd just do my damn laundry?

Minute nineteen through minute twenty-seven-I watched football. Sort of. I had finished folding my laundry and realized I wanted pizza. I had the football game on the television as I both looked up pizza coupons and read analysis on recent baseball trades.

Minute twenty seven through minute thirty-I left the house to drive to Pizza Hut to pick up pizza and drive to the grocery store to pick up chocolate milk. This seemed like a good idea initially, but unfortunately my car did not care that The Event of Our Lifetimes was on the Fox Network and did not drive any better than usual through the blinding snow and unplowed roads.

Halftime-I watched Tom Petty rock down the house. It reminded me of the Tom Petty concert I once saw in person-sad.

Minute thirty through minute forty three-Started writing a blog about what I did during the sixty minutes of the Super Bowl.

Minute forty four-Typed this sentence.

Minute forty five through minute sixty-Fuck if I know, that's the future. Really, anything could happen. Odds are I will probably end up getting frustrated over something in the Majestic Intergalactic Game of Football, that is anything BUT super. More than likely though, I will spend this fifteen minutes catching up on some long overdue something or others I need to get done.

Minute sixty-Thank the Jesus that ESPN Sportscenter will hopefully maybe mercifully please oh God oh God spend time talking about something other than Tom Brady's ankle, Randy Moss' harassment, or Eli Manning's quest to be respected.