Milwaukee vs Chicago

Within a span of five days My Lady and I were able to attend a Chicago Cubs game at the dangerous Wrigley Field and a Brewers game at the way better Miller Park in Milwaukee. Both teams played the Giants, and for those curious, Bonds did not play in either game. He played the three games in the middle, but he opted to sit out these two. I didn't want to see historic home runs that tarnish history anyway. Yes I did. I can't lie to you people.

Chicago:
Transit is terrible, so you park an hour outside of the city and take the train in. The train that feature winos selling fifty cent towels and lighters, but he will not, I repeat will not, "TAKE ANY F'ING FOOD STAMPS." And with bargains like that, can you blame him?

Milwaukee:
A nice, smooth ride directly into a parking lot which is a five minute walk away from the stadium.

Chicago:
Still on the train. Now sitting next to a man who, when the train stops, starts rocking back and forth saying, "Go Please Go." He could have been on the run from the law, but most likely not.

Milwaukee:
Talking to Wisconsin residents who had been tailgating all day long in line at a Porta-John. They explained to me why Wisconsin was better than Iowa: Brewers and Packers. I didn't believe them at first, but I do know.

Chicago:
Now we are transferring trains. As we stand and wait, some up and coming hip hop artist starts to rap about red and green lights with a mini beat box. What happened to the days hippies played guitars and sang about the end of the world?

Milwaukee:
We are now in the stadium a good two hours early enjoying the many different types of foods and clothing stands. The game is a legit sell out, but the stadium does not feel crowded, it is super clean, and everyone, while hot, does not appear as though they want to die.

Chicago:
We finally get to Wrigley, only to walk up eight flights of ramps (is that an accurate statement) to get to our right field bleacher seats. A pole obstructs the view of the batter which leads to a pitch being thrown and then appearing to bounce off the pole into the field.

Milwaukee:
We take three ramps up and sit in our left field seats. We take in batting practice. The sun beats down but because we are not all sardines in our seats, it doesn't feel as hot.

Chicago:
I have to pee. Which is unfortunate because the only bathroom is eight flights of ramps below me. I'm also hungry, which is also unfortunate because the only food they serve is a hot dog, also eight flights of ramps below me. Once at both places, I wait eight minutes in both lines.

Milwaukee:
I have to pee. This is okay because there are bathrooms on every level of the stadium and there are never lines. I'm hungry, which is okay because Milwaukee people love their sausages and nachos and taco salads and just about anything. Also, there are so many places, there are never any lines.

Chicago:
I've now missed an inning and a half of the game because of my urinal needs. As I take my seat, I realize I need to pee again.

Milwaukee:
A home run is hit and rolls up the stairs and right past me. I could have had it, but enjoyed having it hit near me all the same.

Chicago:
A pole continues to obstruct my view.

Milwaukee:
The game is over and we start to walk out of the stadium. There is plenty of room for everyone to walk and there aren't any bottlenecks in the traffic flow. In fact, there is enough room to cut over to a clothing stand and buy more overpriced shirts.

Chicago:
Slowly walking down the eight ramps. Slowly making our way out to the street. Waiting in line for another train.

Milwaukee:
At the car, moving right along, on our way home.

Chicago:
Traveling in what very well may be a vessel to hell, as evidenced by the temperature.

Milwaukee:
Only two hours until we're home!

Chicago:
Finally get to the car, only to immediately hit rush hour traffic and promptly stop moving for a half hour.

Milwaukee:
Only one hour until we're home!

Chicago:
Oh good, we're moving. Oh wait, there's a toll. We better stop and pay.

Milwaukee:
We are making great time; let's stop and enjoy some delicious Arby's!

Chicago:
Finally, no more tolls. Let's just cruise down this last bit of road and get home.

Milwaukee:
Home, showered, and in pajamas.

Chicago:
The cloud becomes ominously dark, the winds start rocking the car back and forth, and rain plummets from the sky. 80 miles per hour quickly drops to 30 and the half hour left on our drive grows to 50 minutes.

Milwaukee:
Enjoying a movie and a water and some cuddling.

Chicago:
Fearing for our lives and worrying about our puppy.

For those who have yet to experience Miller Park, I highly recommend it. It's like a giant college tailgate, cheap, and really easy to get to. I also don't think there has ever been any reason to prop up nets to catch falling brick at Miller Park either. I love the romantic notion of Wrigley, but they are either need to get a bathroom up in the nosebleeds, or they need to get a new stadium.

Also, the Giants are terrible. The Brewers are good. But the Cubs are awesome. I can't wait to see how they choke in the playoffs this year.