Movie Reviews and Harry Potter

Let's catch up on brief and wonderful movie/book reviews:

Spinal Tap-Every bit as funny as everyone says it is. Also when you combine British accents and rock and roll, can you really go wrong? What's that Coldplay's third CD? You can?

Reds-A long, incredibly boring movie directed by Warren Beatty about some Portland author and his wife who manage to get caught up in the Bolshevik revolution. The film features testimonials from really old people that made me realize Blu-Ray, while pretty, doesn't make ugly look any better.

March of the Penguins-Morgan Freeman, in between playing God, found time to narrate a movie about penguins. This movie should have featured more penguin dancing and less penguin humping.

Happy Feet-An entirely overrated movie that features no penguin humping but a lot of penguin dancing. Maybe penguin movies are only entertaining when the penguins are surfing?

Surf's Up-Nope. I don't like penguin movies.

Ghost Rider-Is that Nicolas Cage beneath that flaming skull? I couldn't tell because he delivered such a nuanced, difficult performance. The Academy Award winning Nicolas Cage channels every role he has ever been in to make sure and dull up a movie about a skeleton on a motorcycle fighting off sand creatures and waterdemons. Also directed by the guy who directed Daredevil. Which begs the question, why can't I find another job, but he was given a $50 million budget?

The Notebook-Not as tearjerkery as everyone says, but it did lead me to this question. Is James Marsden the go to guy in Hollywood to play the role of the likeable, yet stands no chance second love interest? First he played that guy in the Notebook. Then he played, albeit terribly, Cyclops in the X-Men movies where he pined after a Jean Grey destined to schtup herself a Wolverine. Lastly he played some dude in Superman dating Lois Lane (and we all know how that turns out). Is it is his weird creepy jawline that prevents him from finding love?

The Astronaut Farmer-You know how sometimes movies based on true stores leave out some important details because the director assumes the fans will know what he is talking about? Like the scene in this movie where Billy Bob needs to fund his rocketship into space, only he being a broke farmer, has no money. He then starts selling advertising ala NASCAR. Of course, this hilarious five minute scene ends with his father in law passing away and leaving him millions of dollars to complete the project. The same father in law who inexplicably supported the project from the beginning of the movie and very well could have made the donation WHILE ALIVE. But the director wanted us to fill in the gaps using information we read in the newspapers. You all remember that story about a Texas farmer who shoots himself into space while NASA and the feds threaten to kill him for no reason other than goverment officials are EVIL. Right? No?

Bobby-It's like Magnolia (right down to the William H Macy!) featuring Frodo, a pre-coked out Lohan, the black dude from the MTV hip hop improv show, Pacey, a still alive Sharon Stone, Charlie Sheen's dad, and three Hispanics. Also, it's like Magnolia circling around the assassination of Bobby Kennedy, who according to the movie, would have made everything much much better. I'm not qualified to speak on political matters from that (or any) era, but that doesn't matter-the movie is awesome. Watch it.

And now...reviewing Harry Potter:

Harry Potter Five Movie: Awesome. They somehow made the worst book in the series (which is to say, still an awesome book) the best movie of the series.

And lastly, a spoiler free review of Harry Potter's last book:

Awesome. We should all send JK Rowling a thank you card and a one hundred dollar bill. No amount of money she currently has locked up could ever come close to rewarding what was simply an awesome, damn near flawless series.

Up next? The anticipated in my world Simpsons movie. It will either be one of the best movies ever or it will crush my dreams. There is no middle ground for this one.